I used to believe healing was a destination. I thought it would come in one big, sweeping moment. A thunderclap of clarity. A rescue.
But no one came to rescue me. Turns out, I didn’t need rescuing, I needed to be seen. I needed connection.
So I became the one I needed.
For thirty years, I gave my heart, mind, and identity to a high-control religious group that promised purpose and belonging. For twenty-two years, I stayed in a marriage where my soul was shrinking. After that I was in an exploitative, high-control employment setting. And for just as long, I quieted my intuition, prioritized others’ needs, and called it “love” or “faith” or “being a team player” or “doing the right thing.”
But eventually, the truth whispered louder than the fear:
This isn’t healthy. This isn’t me.
And I asked myself a question that changed everything: Can I do this for the rest of my life?
The answer came—clear, quiet, and unshakeable—”not unless you want to live a slow death.”
I knew then that something had to shift. Not just for me, but for my children and grandchildren who were watching. I wanted them to see what real love looks like. What aligned faith feels like. What self-trust and self-loyalty looks like in action.
Leaving wasn’t easy. It was a death of identity, certainty, and community. But it was also the beginning of something more honest, more alive.
Healing didn’t come all at once.
It came in honest limits.
In learning to center my needs without apology.
In untangling my worth from my usefulness.
In choosing small, sacred steps—again and again.
I realized the danger in outsourcing my worth, decisions, or needs. I could bring those home to myself.
The deepest lesson?
✨ No one is coming to rescue me because I don’t need rescuing.
✨ I am absolutely worth love, loving, and connection.
✨ And I can be the one who does it.
I don’t believe life has some grand external purpose. I believe the purpose is in the living. The ordinary, messy, beautiful, heartbreaking, breathtaking now.
We don’t need to perform for meaning. We just need to be here—awake, honest, and whole.
If you’re walking away from something—or toward something more real—just know: You’re not alone.
I’m walking it too. One breath. One truth. One step at a time.
Join me in the work of this “healing” if you feel directed to do so. I’m taking new clients and would love to see if we’d be a good match.
In Health & Wholeness,
Shannan
